What Happens When You Are Scared Of Success?

It is gray and gloomy, the rain is coming down in thick sheets outside, and I can’t believe that just two days ago I was frolicking amidst the Azaleas in my garden. What fresh madness is this?

Bad weather aside, I am feeling a little somber anyway today. I really shouldn’t be, I should be happy, excited, elated even, but I’m not.

I’m scared

Last weekend I took part in an indie craft fair run by these guys in Kensington, Maryland. Business was good, very good in fact. The Kensington folk seemed to like me and my products very much, and I sold out of almost everything. I must confess I wasn’t quite expecting that, I still have two more fairs to go this Spring.
Perhaps I should have taken some time to appreciate this little win, but I have always been a bit of a worrier. I hurriedly ordered more shirts and onesies online, and realized that I will need to get a large amount of printing, ironing and sewing done by my next fair on Memorial Day weekend (This is the first time I have needed to make more stock in between shows!).

The Root of my Fear?

I always expected that someday I would reach the point where demand would outstrip supply and I’d need to rethink my production processes, but I never really allowed myself to think about it properly. I think sometimes I’m so scared of making that turning point from tiny kitchen table business to proper label, that I subconsciously sabotage myself.
I have never made much of an effort to contact boutiques and shops, because I’m anxious about whether I could keep up with their demands. I’ve never taken part in trade fairs because, what if someone likes my work and orders a lot of it, and I can’t make enough to keep up with their needs, and I have no proper printing setup…kids will be home soon….what do you mean ‘extra homework?’…there’s not enough time…gah!
See what I mean? Total worrier. I’m sure there are other worriers out there like me. Maybe we could form a support group, Small Business Procrastinators Anonymous, any takers?

Well I guess a much needed turning point is here at last. It’s time to start getting faster, more efficient, and more professional; but where do I start? Do I need to explore new ways to make my shirts? Do I need to find someone to work with me? What do I do first? I’m all questions and no answers. I think I’ll go and drink tea, write a list and start putting my concerns on paper. I’ll be back with some plans soon!

*All mentoring and advice is appreciated, and thank you for joining me on my strangely shaped learning curve.

 

Leave a Reply